I was giving a speech a few days ago in New York, and someone in the audience asked me what mental toughness was really about. I responded with, “It’s about getting what you want.” And that’s what makes it so valuable. Maybe you want to be the best mom or dad in the world. Maybe you want to have lots of friends. Maybe you want to be a millionaire. We all want something, and mental toughness is the fastest way to get it, because it separates you from the pack. Most people never even decide what they want, so they half-heartedly want lots of things and stop chasing them when the fight gets too tough. They move on to another goal thinking it will be easier. Of course it never is. Watch this short video and than ask yourself this critical thinking question: “Am I willing to fight for what I want?” Side note: I filmed this video in the parking lot of the New England Cable News Network in Boston, where I was a guest on their business talk show. Mitt Romney, former Governor of Mass and Presidential candidate was also a recent guest on this show. It was an honor to be invited. NECN Interview
( Steve Siebold ) ( 3:34 )
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Keeping that focus want and why is what keeps pulling you through impasses and toward goals, isn’t it, Clara? Good point. I do that well and have to continually look at what I consider physical actions leading toward my focus to see if I’m not just mentally focused but physically not focused.
I find that the gap between what I say I want and what I actually do – and there’s always a gap of some kind – keeps that tension and awareness a daily teacher of what I need to learn.
Mike, it is indeed easy to say: “I am willing to fight” and your ACTION is definitely VERY important.
“I will ACT now.
When the lion is hungry he eats. When the eagle has thirst
he drinks. Lest they ACT, both will perish.
I hunger for success. I thirst for happiness and peace of
mind. lest I ACT I will perish in a life of failure, misery and
sleepless nights.
I will command, and I will obey mine own command.
I will ACT now.”
The Greatest Salesman in the World by Og Mandino
Nevertheless what we do when the tough gets going is VERY IMPORTANT ALSO. Do we HANG ON LIKE a Grizzly Bear to our GOALS or do we take the easy way out? That’s why is important to stay FOCUS and to keep your “WHAT & WHY” VERY CLEAR in your mind.
Mike, it is indeed easy to say: “I am willing to fight” and your ACTION is definitely VERY important.
“I will ACT now.
When the lion is hungry he eats. When the eagle has thirst
he drinks. Lest they ACT, both will perish.
I hunger for success. I thirst for happiness and peace of
mind. lest I ACT I will perish in a life of failure, misery and
sleepless nights.
I will command, and I will obey mine own command.
I will ACT now.”
The Greatest Salesman in the World by Og Mandino
Nevertheless what we do when the tough gets going is VERY IMPORTANT ALSO. Do we HANG ON LIKE a Grizzly Bear to our GOALS or do we take the easy way out. That’s why is important to stay FOCUS and to keep your “WHAT & WHY” VERY CLEAR in your mind.
Steve talks about mental toughness and what that means – how does one know when one is not fighting for their cause, is not fighting for what he or she wants and even knowing what that looks like?
It’s easy to say: I’m willing to fight for what I believe and want and every day I look for signs and actions in myself that tell me I am doing that.
Thoughts?
Mike
I am willing to fight!!
Thanks for the mental kick, Steve. First belief then action. You can fight and still sabotage yourself if what you want is not aligned with your values and what you believe yourself to be.
Once again you are encouraging me – to be tough when I needed it. I would not have know it was raining if you hadn’t said so. I look forward to being able to say “whenever I’m in Boston, I think of the patriots” 🙂 , and am motivated to keep fighting. . . Did you vote today?
Denise Fowble, The Tailored Management speaker
As a Poet I have been able to conquer my fears of accomplishments yes I continue to become. http://www.thepassionandtheoetry.com DVD. For a while I did not want anyone to know that i have received many Awards as a Poet. I am mentally tough to read before crowds of other writers of poetry at monthly reads. I set up speaking events to showcase not only my poetry but myself as the Amorous Poet. It does take mental toughness to grasp opportunities to speak and display my Writings not only on my websites but among seasoned Artists as a Featured Poet member of Artist For A Better World. Empower myself is my September 2010 – 2011 Mission Statement to be hired and earn $15,0000.00 for motivating myself through speaking engagement monthly. I have got the mental toughness it takes to do inspirational.
As a Poet I have been able to conquer my fears of accomplishments yes I continue to become. http://www.thepassionandtheoetry.com DVD. For a while I did not want anyone to know that i have received many Awards as a Poet. I am mentally tough to read before crowds of other writers of poetry at monthly reads. I set up speaking events to showcase not only my poetry but myself as the Amorous Poet. It does take mental toughness to grasp opportunities to speak and display my Writings not only on my websites but among seasoned Artists as a Featured Poet member of Artist For A Better World. Empower myself is my September 2010 – 2011 Mission Statement to be hired and earn $15,0000.00 for motivating myself through speaking engagement monthly. I have got the mental toughness it takes to do inspirationals.
Tom – my understanding of aikido is that the “fight” is the work it takes to achieve self mastery over imbalance, fear, anger, chaos, disorder and other forces in the universe that are disintegrating rather than integrating.
Then it’s living in that harmony and balance with a reverance toward all life and a desire to preserve and not destroy and to experience the fullness of love – you could say cosmic or universal or God’s love – in this creation of which we live and express ourselves.
It may not feel or look like “fight” but it’s a struggle nevertheless to win over all of that and eliminate the struggle and live without resistance – to put all that at rest.
Thoughts?
Mike
…Am I willing to fight for what I want? …it takes GUTS to fight for what you want also it takes WILLPOWER and also you must keep your eyes on the GOAL.
Yes, I AM WILLING TO FIGHT FOR WHAT I WANT!!!
When you have a horse in the racetrack you put blinders on him for a reason, and that is to avoid distractions or anything else that might frighten him.
…well I think sometimes we need blinders, more often than non those distraction come from those close to us or too much information (NEWS or WWW) which many times is irrelevant to our GOALS (we need to be VERY selective).
Your WHAT & WHY must be very clear in your mine so that all the work and sacrifices you make don’t bear a heavy weight on your shoulders. All of the hard work and sacrifices becomes part of your life experience, or your JOY.
When you travel from point A to point B you will come across beautiful scenery and others not so beautiful; nice people and others not so nice. Some of those you will be able to LEVERAGE and some you won’t. …but it is your WHAT & WHY that will carry you thru.
We have a saying in my martial art Aikido — “looks like fighting, but it’s not fighting.” There’s something else that’s happening inside me. If I’m struggling the technique is failing and yes, then a fight will inevitably happen. So, is it just good old fashioned effort to get that last 10%? Or is it really, really fighting? I’m not sure the word “fighting” works for me — I’ll chew on this one a while.
Excellent reminder Steve. Thanks for standing in the rain to deliver this content to us. And great analysis of what happens “in the gap” Mike.
It all boils down to how honest we REALLY want to be with ourselves to reach our goals…. or not. You want excellence? You want to be the best? Prove it. Roll up your sleeves ladies & gents, it’s time to get real with who/what/when/where why we’re doing what we’re doing every day, and it’s gonna be messy…
Laura Ashleigh | Artistic Finishes Inc.
Milwaukee WI
The gap between what you say you want and are capable of doing and what you’re actually doing every day is more instructive than any training, motivational speech, book or decision you made once upon a time. Look at that gap squarely in the face today and see where you actually stand.
That’s where the fight’s located and what drives the external counterparts to success. When you live in that gap every day – looking for feed back and resourses that can only come from dispassionate introspection – you adjust and improve.
Then comes the repetition of skills and actions toward the goals. Then come the achievements and losses. Then come the set backs and discouraging outcomes. And when you live in that awareness between what you say you want and what you’re actually doing, what would otherwise be experienced as negatives become instructive movements toward greater success.
There’s the home of championship success and world class mental toughness.
Mike
Always inspiring Steve. Keep these coming. I really enjoy watching them!
That was great! It was uplifting to know that I am not the only one who is faced w/ adversity in the middle of trying to reach my goals! This video helped me to view handling my challenges in a different & more positive way. Thanks Steve 🙂
So true Steve!
A constant and never ending mental rumble…
Well…”Lets get ready to ruuummmble”…
Thanks for the reminder.
K.L.
Great point Steve, I’ve certainly never asked myself that question before but i’m very glad you brought it to my attention. It’s a question that stirs up alot of motivation for me so for that i thank you. 🙂
Steve hits on a simple fact that is often just laughed off. The little edge that sends the professional into the ring to do what they love to do. Kimbo Slice just showed up at the UFC this week and displayed one of the key factor Steve is talking about. Kimbo was a good street fighter but he needed skills to take on the UFC fighting format. So, what did Kimbo do? He get’s his ass into the American Top Team training facility in Miami, gets himself a coach and sets his mind to do whatever it takes to be a contender. The little edge of having a coach and doing the work to win the fight paid off for Kimbo and I think Steve is telling us that mental toughness means just that.
Well done. Garry Hiebert